She also describes how I feel about leaving our friends and family in California;
"Leaving does not always mean betrayal. And I think that, sometimes, we’re not particularly afraid of losing people. What we’re really afraid of is having to learn to do life without them. Because, ultimately, we are creatures of habit and comfort.
One day not far from today, that just might be our demise.
Because the world is changing and we are changing, all the time, forever and ever. And, sometimes, by holding on too hard, we lose.
And loss can be ugly, beautiful, scary or all of the above but I have found that it is, more than anything, necessary.
When we say things like ‘people don’t change,’ it drives scientists crazy. Because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter, it’s always changing. Morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to the things that were, instead of letting them be the way they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of making new ones. The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is perfect. Change is constant. The way we experience change, that’s up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment, we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.
So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.
Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.
All great people leave.
And, yes. One day, a great person just might leave you.
But our lives are made of revolving doors and for every person who leaves, a new person enters. Not as a replacement but as a completely new character in the ever-evolving story of your life.
When you leave, you begin to understand the worth of what you walked away from. You discover that walking out is not always equivalent to closing doors. Sometimes it means leaving them half-open for the journey back. It is not a virtue possessed by the easily contented. It has always been the beaten down path of the brave."